The syndrome of absent fathers or mothers refers to parents who are not present during their children’s childhood, which has consequences on the development of the child. This situation can be due to various causes such as long working hours, job relocation, separation, complicated divorce, or death. However, the absence of the father or mother is not always due to these reasons; often, it is emotional absence.
Causes and Characteristics of Absentee Parenting
According to Iosune Mendia, a child and adolescent psychologist in San Lorenzo de El Escorial (Community of Madrid), absentee parents not only lack physical presence but also exhibit other characteristics. They do not fulfill any role in the family, delegate authority and setting limits to their partner, and sometimes disengage from parenting or providing emotional support. This emotional absence can lead to feelings of abandonment and affect the child’s emotional, physical, and mental development.
Effects on Children and Coping Strategies
The absence of parents during childhood leaves a lasting impact on children, resulting in feelings of loneliness, emptiness, and the constant need for approval to fill the emotional void. Moreover, it affects the child’s personality, making them more insecure, with low self-esteem and difficulties managing emotions. They may experience sadness, depression, lack of interest, poor academic performance, and lack of motivation throughout their lives. Sometimes, insecurity may manifest as excessive confidence, arrogance, aggression, or rebellion to mask painful feelings.
Preventive Measures for Absentee Parenting
To avoid being absent parents, it is essential for children to spend quality time with their parents, involving physical contact and shared activities like cooking, as emotional learning cannot be achieved from a distance. In situations where parents are unavoidably absent due to work or caregiving responsibilities, it is crucial to reassure children that it is a temporary situation and not permanent. Compensating for the absence of one parent with the presence of the other and organizing shifts can help alleviate the child’s distress. Parents should communicate unconditional love to their children and dedicate focused attention to them when together, without attempting to multitask, which can lead to frustration and guilt.
The Cycle of Absentee Parenting and Future Generations
Children who grow up with absentee parents are likely to repeat the same patterns in adulthood. They may seek affection and stability in toxic relationships, fearing abandonment and developing emotional dependency. As future parents, they may struggle to establish healthy bonds with their children, either becoming absent themselves or becoming overprotective.
In conclusion, absentee parenting has profound and long-lasting effects on children’s emotional and psychological well-being. It is essential for parents to prioritize quality time and emotional connection with their children to ensure healthy development and break the cycle of absenteeism in future generations.